My only talent is breathing
I said this to my mom and she just said “you have asthma, moron”
Most marine mammals are very flexible because they are made of 99% blorp.
what the fuck is the last 1%
never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’
I CANT HANDLE THIS
are you telling me the french word for wand is ‘la baguette magique’
To the film director.
JUST LOOKING AT THE POSTERS MAKES ME ANGRY HOLY SHIT
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ERAGON
I cried because of these movies
and thank god they didn’t keep doings movies after the adapting the firsts books
Guys aren’t we forgetting one
There are two things that can happen tonight:
- Leonardo Dicaprio is going to win the Oscar
- Leonardo Dicaprio is not going to win the Oscar
and both times tumblr will go nuts and I will enjoy every minute of it
I told my dad this and he said “It’s a win-win situation…
not for Leo”
Be all like, “I have a fiction paper due and I wanna be on Ernest Hemingway’s level.”
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
I get so overwhelmed whenever I get an iTunes gift card
Like what music do I deem worthy enough to legally purchase?
Harry Potter locations
this is everything i’ve been looking for !
Idina Menzel stopped by the Tonight Show Music Room to perform”Let It Go” from “Frozen” with Jimmy and the Roots!